Dr. Strangelove

This is just embarrassing, but here it goes: I have never made a doctor's appointment. Dentist and optometrist appointments, yes, but regular-doctor go-get-a-physical, hit-my-knee-with-the-little-hammer-thingy, no.

It's weird. I mean, I think of myself as a pretty responsible person, and on top of that, taking care of myself is very important to me. And I do it fairly well when it comes to diet, exercise, etc. I know that regular visits with a doctor would be beneficial, but they just haven't been part of my routine. There must be some sort of elusive mental block keeping me from scheduling a check-up.

I don't think I am afraid of doctors. Sure, they've been known to be the bearers of bad news at times, but on the other hand, there could be some disease slowly taking hold of me right now and I wouldn't know because I've been too lazy to go and get some basic blood-work done. Modern medicine is not infallible, but theoretically I'm a big fan.

What's really awful is how hypocritical I've been about this. Last summer, K had abdominal pain so severe that he asked me to take him to the emergency room. As he was getting checked out, I called my mom (also a doctor) and complained that K doesn't take care of himself properly - doesn't go to the doctor, never exercises, doesn't really watch what he eats - and now the poop might be hitting the fan. Well, as it turned out, K's appendix was about to burst; so his choices were not a contributing factor, and I felt like a big ass.

Since then, I've been all over K to schedule regular doctor's appointments, first to check in on the status of the massive incision from his surgery, and later just to make sure he is healthy all-around. I need him to keep ticking for quite a while longer. Meanwhile, I've been toddling along without any serious thought to the fact that I haven't gotten the green light from a physician since the last millennium, when I was still on my parents' insurance.

It is a strange love that has allowed me to stay oblivious to my own hypocrisy. So K, if you read this, I'm sorry. This week I will make a doctor's appointment. It will be a small achievement but a significant one. I can't wait to get an officially clean bill of health. I'll be brand new.